Strange Headline

More evidence that the liberal media is out of touch.... Check out this headline from MSNBC today:

"Texas pastor electrocuted during baptism
Accident occured when 33-year-old priest reached for a microphone"

It goes on to talk about how he waded into the waist-deep baptistry at University Baptist of Waco when he was electrocuted as he grabbed a microphone. A horrible accident. But....

A Baptist priest? I think not.

When good contests go bad...

Organizers of the "kick a field goal at halftime, win a million bucks" had to be feeling pretty good. They had yanked Average Joe out of the stands of the CFL game at halftime and given him his chore. Try a 20 yard field goal, then a 30 yard field goal, then a 40, and finally...if he hit the 50 yard field goal it was worth a million bucks. The shorter kicks were all worth different amounts of cash.

So Average Joe (played a little soccer in his day) tried the 20 yard field goal. Kick was short right. AJ tried the 30 yarder, short right. Back up ten and try the 40 yarder. Still short, still right.

Tee it up from 50 out. (Think kick it harder, aim farther left). Kicks...nails it down the middle, pockets $1 million bucks. According to AJ, he was thinking he just needed to try and kick it wide left and let it drift back right. And it did.

In aint over til it's...wait...it's over.

Parking at the World Series....$175
Two tickets to the big game....$2,000
Not having to spend winter in Chicago....priceless.

Now we can get back to other things down here in Texas. Like sleeping....

Now We're Hacked

Ok, so now we're really mad. Now you've done it. You won game three (ended about 15 minutes ago) in dramatic fashion to take an 0-3 lead in the World Series. But don't forget our history. We started this state with some pretty dramatic losses. We got our hiney kicked at the Alamo. We got double-hiney kicked at Goliad. But we didn't quit. No siree Bob. We hung in there. We scrapped and scraped and scrapped some more. And then, in eighteen dramatic minutes, we whupped the enemy at San Jacinto so bad that it was over in a lightning bolt.

So don't give up on us yet. Backe pitches to a big win tonight and then we're on our way. Davy Crockett hits a pitch hit homerun in the eighth inning to win it.

Deep in The Heart

At the 7th inning stretch tonight...in the first ever World Series game in Texas...you'll hear "Take me out to the ballgame"....you'll also hear "God Bless America"...BUT....you'll really hear "Deep in the Heart of Texas" when the crowd belts it out super loud. And I mean REALLY loud. It's a special tradition we have down here in cowboy land. And it makes the 7th inning stretch last about 45 minutes.

Oswalt will be on the mound. Can Roy Wonder pitch a no hitter? Tune in tonight at 7 middle and see....

West Yellowstone News

Don't you just love police with a sense of humour? Here's the lastest and bestest police report as cited in the West Yellowstone Newspaper....

"-- A tractor trailer hit a moose on Highway 20, near the South Fork. Both parties lost a lot of fluids. The truck's were eventually replaced, but the moose's couldn't be."

And Then Again...

OK, so I missed a few predictions...ok all of them. If you betted according to me this past weekend you'd be wearing a barrel to work today. The Orange looked really good. All except that losing part. they just couldn't get the ball in the endzone. Something drastic needs to happen with the offense. The defense is generally awesome. Alabama isn't that good.

And the Astros are alright. They've been through the last minute homer thingie before. They'll be playing at home tomorrow and we're still looking forward to it. Oswalt will be pitching, a good thing.

Sic 'em boys!

Our Mayor has declared this weekend is officially "NO SOCKS" weekend (starting today) so if you've got socks on get rid of them. Nobody is allowed to acknowledge socks all weekend. Monday will be "I got blisters" day.

Roger pitches a three hitter, Lidge closes, Astros win Game 1 3-1. Then Pettite has an excellent day, Burke homers, Lidge closes on a 4-0 victory on Sunday. 'Stros up 2-0 after the weekend.

The ROT handles the Red Elephants with ease (suprisingly) 31-7. And the upset special of the week: Red Raiders invade Austin, feetballs fly thru the air in huge numbers. Longhorn secondary players collapse from exhaustion. Texas Tech throws a last second touchdown that upsets the Horns in a huge offensive battle 56-48. Wow!

World Series!

Yahoo! Yeehaw! WooHoo! Whoopee! Boy Howdy! Hoowee! Wahoo! Hooty Hoot! Ooh La La! YowZee! YowZah! Wowee Ka Zowee! YahooboozleKaZoozleLahWowaHoot!

Told ya! What a great game by Roy Wonder and we actually scored a few runs!

No Sweat

Don't be nervous about Alabama this weekend, I feel real good about it. I think the Big Orange is in for a huge win and a real offensive show. So relax and enjoy it.

I've got to check all of the feetball standings and scores so I can give you a mid-season update. I was optimistic at the start of the season about being able to comment on all games each weekend. But there is not one source that covers both Fayette County high school, MTSU, UT Chatt, Morehead State, CN, UT and Carter. It'd be nice to push one button and have all those scores pop up. Alas, it takes a whole bunch of buttons to pull it off so I've been remiss. But look for a mid-season update soon.

If you want, you can give me a dump truck full of money and I'd quit my day job and provide the updates.... Not holding my breath by the way. Go Vols.

Take Your Pick

Todays' post is multiple choice. I couldn't decide which one to pick. So I decided to let you, the knowledgeable reader, select. Herewith they are:

1. Ouch

2. Unbelieveable. First the evacuation crapola and now this!!!??? Send the locusts now and put us out of our misery!!!

3. Hey, I fell asleep last night and missed the game. Anybody catch the score?


As Yogi Bear said it once...It ain't over til it's over...

Astros Fever

Tonights the night when we clinch our first ever World Series trip. Houston is majorly pumped about it. Unlike other cities, we don't burn down our town to show happiness either. We just holler "Yeehaw"! and grin goofily for days.

My high school Alma Tomater is 8-0 heading into a showdown with last years State Champion Fulton this friday. The Carter Green Hornets beat Gibbs 35-0 to go to 8-0. The paper said Gibbs was fighting for a playoff spot still. Their record is 2-6. Somethings awful wrong when you can be 2-6 and still playoff eligible. Somethings either wrong, or your in the NHL.

Chris Burke Update

He's fixin' to be named NLCS MVP just as soon as the Astros can finish off the Cards. Chris Burke whacked a triple that was nothing but real hustle last night. We'll forgive his goofy non-catch in left field cause Reggie Sanders had a worse one. Don't you just wish that instead of acting hurt when they goof up embarrassingly that major leaguers would just get up and play? Sanders acted like he was mortally wounded after he tripped over his own shoelaces, dropped the ball and fell on his hiney. Hey Reggie, it's happened to everybody. Just get up. We understand.

Go 'Stros.

Today's Sheeps....

Passed Ball Nightmare

OK, so the Astros got beat in Game 1. That happens. But what shouldn't happen is that the umpire makes a goofus call after three outs in the bottom of the ninth that costs you the game. That's exactly what happened to the Angels last night. A non-passed ball became a runner, who got driven in by the next batter for the win.

As an ump, how do you make that call? Even after you made it you should recognize that it's a goofus call and overturn yourself. You cost the Angels a game on a call I wouldn't make in Little League.

And speaking of Angels. What in the heck is "Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim?". I know I know....you had to put Los Angeles in there, even though you don't play in Los Angeles, just to try and get more bucks somehow. And I know the New York Giants don't play in New York either. BUT...I'm cheering against you just cause you have a goofus name. So you probably deserved the passed ball call as penance.

Here's hoping the Chicago White Sox of Chicago whup you. And then the Houston Astros of Houston will beat them in the World Series.

Strange Letter to the Editor

Uh...sometimes you don't know what folks were really thinking when they write letters to the editor. This poor fellow was caught up in that cockfight bust in Cocke County a while back. He has some....interesting....thoughts on the subject.

Go here

If'n you can't read it cause it requires a i.d. or something, then look in today's Knoxville News Sentinel. If'n you don't get the News Sentinel, trust me it's strange...

And of course...Go Astros.

Thank You Chris Burke

I know ya'll love the Braves but how about that Tennessee product Chris Burke hitting the winning homer in the 18th inning! A back to back double header with no break in between.

Now for my gripe. All of the papers and announcers have been calling it a "walkoff" homer. I don't know what that means. It used to mean a home run that was hit so far that you walked down to first base as you watched it go over the wall. Burke's homer landed about two rows deep, which is not far enough to casually watch it as you walk to first base. Every homer that goes over the fence these days is a "walkoff" homer according to the news media. Just because it isn't "walkoff" doesn't mean it wasn't great either.

So get off this "walkoff" kick. Two rows deep ain't it. Hit the train tracks and you can walk.

AAAARGH....

The hotel Internet thingie was supposed to work, but it didn't. Irritating. Oh well, got to see Brother Don and his better half.

Look for the Big Orange to roll this week. At my meeting in the Nations Capital this past week, one of the participants from Florida was a Georgia Bulldog in disguise. He had his cell phone ringer set on the Georgia Fight Song for my benefit. He would let it ring once a day just for me. I'm going to e-mail him on Saturday when we wrap it up so he knows I haven't forgotten. Please win.

Getting Darker Sooner

I don't know about where you live but in my parts its getting darker a lot
earlier than just a week ago. I thought our elected officials were going to
put a stop to that? Didn't they pass a bill this summer requiring the sun to
stay up longer? We need to hold their feet to the fire.

I'm getting my hdtv hooked up this week. It was delayed because of hurricane
Rita. Finally I will be entering the 20th century and getting out of the tv
maseozoic era.

Poor Georgia...

It should be a sad week in Georgia as the Astros sweep the Braves and the Real Orange Team whups the Dawgs. The Big Orange musta looked ok on Saturday even though I didn't get to see it. I saw two plays on ESPN. Someday I'll get ESPN gameplan and/or all of the games will be broadcast on Universities own systems. This week I get to see on CBS. Please, not Musburger!

Astros won the wild card on the last day of the season and might surprise some folks in postseason. Clemons, Pettite and Oswalt, with Lights Out Lidge as closer. If we can buy a run we have a chance. I know the Jeff City crowd is behind us, particularly one Biggio wearing girl.

And this morning I got to experience another Texas legend. This is Red River Shootout week, culminated by Texas-OU at the Cotton Bowl on Saturday. For myself, I took the garbage out this morning and proceeded to somehow cover myself in fire ants in the process. None of them bites til one of them bites. Then they all bite in unison. Pesky little critters.

I'm on the road this week, expect odd reporting (if that isn't already your expectation).